--- title: What’s Been the Best Thing in Your Day? description: "Try Victor Perton’s simple daily optimism habit: ask “What’s been the best thing in your day?” and discover how one good question can lift a conversation." image: https://www.centreforoptimism.com/hubfs/AI-Generated%20Media/Images/Optimistic%20Coffee%20Chat%20in%20a%20Bright%20Cafe.png --- ###### [Check out Our latest insights on Optimism](https://www.centreforoptimism.com/blog) [![Centre for Optimism_Logo](https://www.centreforoptimism.com/hubfs/Centre%20for%20Optimism_Logo.svg)](https://www.centreforoptimism.com?hsLang=en) - [Home](https://www.centreforoptimism.com) - [Subscribe](https://www.centreforoptimism.com/subscribe) - [Why Optimism?](https://www.centreforoptimism.com/whyoptimism) - [What is Optimism?](https://www.centreforoptimism.com/whatisoptimism) - [The Optimism Principle](https://www.centreforoptimism.com/blog/theoptimismprinciple) - [Need Optimism?](https://www.centreforoptimism.com/services-and-workshops) - [The Optimism Workshop](https://www.centreforoptimism.com/workshop) - [Victor Perton - That Optimism Man](https://www.centreforoptimism.com/victorperton) - [Magnetic Optimism for Organisations](https://www.centreforoptimism.com/magnetic-optimism-workshops) ![Close Icon (3)](https://www.centreforoptimism.com/hubfs/Close%20Icon%20(3).svg) ![Search (2)](https://www.centreforoptimism.com/hubfs/Search%20(2).svg) ###### [Habit](https://www.centreforoptimism.com/blog/tag/habit) , ###### [Habits of an Optimist](https://www.centreforoptimism.com/blog/tag/habits-of-an-optimist) , ###### [Greetings](https://www.centreforoptimism.com/blog/tag/greetings) , ###### [What has been the Best Thing in Your Day?](https://www.centreforoptimism.com/blog/tag/what-has-been-the-best-thing-in-your-day) # What’s Been the Best Thing in Your Day? # What’s Been the Best Thing in Your Day? The Question That Changes Almost Every Conversation By [Victor Perton, The Optimism Man](https://www.centreforoptimism.com/victorperton?hsLang=en) After smiling and greeting almost everyone you pass, “What’s been the best thing in your day?” is the habit of an optimist's daily life I recommend most. Yesterday, I asked the receptionist at my doctor’s surgery that question. She thought and thought, and then almost burst into song as she told me about the “girls’ pampering weekend” she was looking forward to, celebrating the imminent wedding of one of her best friends.  She became joyful and wonderfully expressive. I asked a few follow-up questions and the mood lifted even higher. It lifted her, it lifted me, and it lifted the mood in the room. Other people nearby listened in and shared her enthusiasm. **All from one good question.** ### A Better Question Than the Automatic “How Are You?” In many countries and cultures, we routinely greet people by asking, “How are you?” There is nothing wrong with the question. The problem is that it often becomes automatic and produces an automatic answer. In Australia, the answer is frequently the double negative, “Not bad” or “Not too bad.” Often, the person asking has already moved on before there is any real opportunity to answer. The words are polite, yet they do not necessarily create a conversation. That is why I began experimenting with a different question: **“What’s been the best thing in your day?”** People often pause because they have not been asked to think about their day in quite that way. Some answer immediately. Others search their memory. Some need a little help. At service stations, people will often begin by telling me how many hours they have left before their shift ends. In supermarkets, someone might tell me how long it is until they knock off. I will gently prompt them again: “Has there been a nice customer?” “A good conversation?” “What made you smile?” “A good coffee?” “Something you’re looking forward to?” Very often, that is when the story appears. The point is not to force cheerfulness or insist that someone find something wonderful. It is to give another person a moment to recall something good, interesting, enjoyable or meaningful in their day, and then to listen to what they tell you. ### How the Question Changes Attention and Interaction Dr Manoj Krishna, founder of HappierMe, recently asked me a very good question about this habit: **“Is that the real work of the question? Or is the optimism itself what you’re after?”** I think the question itself does the real work. When I ask, “What’s been the best thing in your day?”, the other person has to search their day for an answer. They recall something good. Quite often, that recollection becomes a little story. The story gives me something to be curious about, so I can ask another question. They become more engaged. I become more engaged. A routine exchange becomes a genuine conversation. What I love most is the social contagion of the interaction. One good question can change more than the exchange between two people. The effect can spread. **Smile → Ask “What’s been the best thing in your day?” → The other person recalls something good → They share the story → You connect → The mood lifts for both of you, and often for everyone overhearing the interaction.** That is what happened at my doctor’s surgery, and I see variations of it all the time. ### From a Passing Greeting to a Conversation When I am out walking, I smile and say hello to almost everyone I pass. Sometimes a stranger slows down or stops. You can sense that they would welcome a little more human interaction. At that moment, “What’s been the best thing in your day?” can become especially powerful. You are no longer simply exchanging a routine greeting. You are showing genuine interest in someone you may never have met before. Often they pause, think and tell you something about their life. A person who was a stranger a few seconds earlier becomes, for a moment, someone with whom you are sharing a real conversation. **A good question can turn a passing encounter into connection.** I have been asking, testing and teaching this question for years, in workplaces, schools, prisons, public events and ordinary encounters with people going about their day. I know it has become associated with me because people often open conversations and emails by asking, usually with laughter and a big smile, “Victor, what’s been the best thing in your day?” I enjoy that enormously. It tells me the question is memorable. More importantly, people have picked up the habit themselves. A question I have asked them becomes a question they use with me and, in many cases, with other people. One of my favourite examples began at a cocktail party. I asked a man, “What’s been the best thing in your day?” Much later in the evening, he came back to find me and asked, “What was that question you asked me? I want to try it out tomorrow.” The next day, he used it with his most difficult customer. He later reported back that the client’s CFO pricked up her ears and said, “That’s a good question.” I love that story because the question did more than improve our conversation at the cocktail party. He remembered it, wanted to use it, and carried it into a difficult business relationship where it immediately changed the tone of the interaction. **That is how a simple habit spreads.** ### Two Questions, Two Different Jobs There are two questions at the centre of much of my work on optimism. The first is **“What makes you optimistic?”** That is my research question. I have asked it of people around the world because I want to understand where optimism comes from, how people describe it and what sustains it through good times and difficult ones. My definition is simple: **“Optimism is a belief that good things will happen and that things will work out in the end.”** Asking “What makes you optimistic?” invites people to reflect on that belief and its sources in their own lives. Their answers have become part of my research into optimism and part of my understanding of how optimism is experienced and expressed. My other central question, **“What’s been the best thing in your day?”**, has a different job. It is a daily practice. I am not really asking someone, “What makes you optimistic?” That can come later. I am inviting them, even briefly, to recall something good, meaningful or anticipated in their life and to tell me about it. The first question helps me understand optimism. The second helps create the conditions for a more optimistic conversation. ### Make the Question Your Own My preferred wording is **“What’s been the best thing in your day?”** If you are new to the habit, adding “so far” can make the question feel a little easier: “What’s been the best thing in your day so far?” You can also adapt it naturally to the occasion. On Monday, I might ask, “What was the best thing about your weekend?” On Friday, it may become, “What’s been the best thing in your week?” The exact wording matters less than the intention. Ask a question that gives another person an opportunity to recall something worth sharing. Then listen to the answer. If a story emerges, be curious. Ask another question. And sometimes someone really is having a bad day. If they cannot find anything good, do not force it. Their answer may instead open the door to empathy, care and a very different conversation. Optimism faces reality. This habit is not about pretending every day is wonderful. It is about making room to notice what is good as well as what is difficult. ### Try It Today [In *Optimism: The How and Why*](https://www.amazon.com/Optimism-How-Why-Victor-Perton/dp/B09HFXWMJ4/), I explore the habits and practices that can help us become more optimistic and foster optimism in the people around us. One of the simplest steps begins before we say a word: [*Smile like an optimist and show a genuine smile to everyone.*](https://www.centreforoptimism.com/blog/realsmile?hsLang=en) Then, when there is an opportunity to talk, ask: **“What’s been the best thing in your day?”** Try it once today and notice what happens. 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